American History X
American History X This movie is... Completely awesome. I can't believe how good it is. What makes me mad is they actually had removed it from theaters when it came out ages ago. I think there's an important lesson you learn from this movie- and it shouldn't have been taken out. I love the question, the Dr/teacher raises- "Ask your self if anything you've done has made your life better-" And ofcourse the answer was no. "It's too much baggage to carry so much hate through out life-"Amen. It's amazing how Jealousy, Hate, Anger, Depression, and all sorts of other negatives, can clowd our vision- prevent our happiness. Yet we allow it to- I don't want to walk around for the rest of my life, feeling such a burden on my chest- and never knowing how to get rid of it- or get rid of it in the wrong ways. People (including myself) miss out on so many things because of mood swings, or whatever feelings that are bottled up inside us.There's times i've wasted so much energy having so much hate for people, when i could have let it go, and moved on, and perhaps even talked it out with the person. I really don't want to waste anymore of my life on big burdens that cause me to miss out on the greater things. I need to be more social- even if i don't want to. Being introverted sucks sometimes, i guess i need to learn to just let go and have fun. I think i also need to stop catigorizing men. And being such a man hater. Lol I think i'm big on that because when i really care about someone- i want them on the right path- even if the path doesn't lead towards me. And i guess i see who they are- and how much better they can be if they quit the BS, But i guess guys need to have their life too. And i shouldn't get in the way of that. It's really not my place. So instead of 'preaching' or whatever- i think i'm going to lay back and try to enjoy things more then i've been doing. And maybe- just maybe things would go the way i wish they would. Maybe i'll get the love i've always wanted- without pushing a guy away because of my fears, maybe i'll bring him closer if i show my good spirit for once. I don't know if any of this makes sense to anyone- but i think this all makes sense to me.I want to be a better person, and by doing that i have to make some sort of effort- i can't just act like i've changed and say "oh yeah i've changed-" I'm not going to cheat my self like that. I'm not saying this will all go through in one day- COuld take months or years for all i know. What i do know is, i wanna start today and try to make the best of things, of what i'm given. And just apreciate the love, i DO get. And not worry about the love that's missing. Because if i'm really cared for- people will realize how it is without me in their life right?Because i've already realized how it feels to have people out of mine. And i don't want it anymore. My arms are opening- and i'm ready. Peace and love all- - old embraces || and those || yet to come |
I loved on 03.15.03 at 10:50 pm |