SHOOT ME PLEASE
I donno. Today is pretty fucked up. I'm just numb and i don't know what the hell to think anymore. Just when i get comfortable i get a damn wake up call, and whether that was a 'joke' or true to whatever the hell he's doing, it made me realize how fast things change and how fucking easy it is for people to do shit like that in general. And how it will affect me in the end. I can't stand being me, this is one of the first times i just wish i could be someone else. I wish i could have a simple life and people would actually respect me and not just play with my emotions. Then again maybe this is some blueprint and i'm getting what i deserve for whatever i've ever done to the fucking world. I hate it. -- School sucked. I tried laughing and i couldn't i could barely talk, Rami seems to be trying to get us to be the friends we used to be, which is odd. I think he misses how close our friendship was and how nothing came between it.I'm going to use this trip to think my life over, and rethink the path i'm going down. Because i keep making sharp turns from one extreme to the next and i'm seriously making my self unhealthy. Mentally and emotionally, i'm unhealthy. Why can't there just be an inbetween? Why can't i just be happy like last year? Why the fuck are there so many god damn mood swings? Why is everything changing so fast.. WHy don't i have time to do the things i love? WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO PENCIL PEOPLE IN, INTO MY SCHEDULE WHY THE FUCK DO I EVEN HAVE A SCHDULE. I have never EVER had so much shit to do in one year. I've never been as sick before, as sore before, never had the little sleep, the anger. God i have SO much anger in me. I need to get rid of it all and just fucking enjoy life. And forget about personal shit because it's destroying me. I can't stand this person i am anymore. old embraces || and those || yet to come |
I loved on 04.01.03 at 3:40 pm |