Rami
Okay. I caught my self talking about how much Rami pisses me off today. And i offically want to stop. Rami and i clearly have the biggest differences and opinions, and we clash in every which way. And despite how much i wanted peace between us. Peace will never come. So i guess the only thing to do is walk away from all of it, and move on. I don't like feeling a grudge towards him, because i used to know the person he was on the inside. And somehow i guess i feel that the person i knew isn't there anymore. Everyone is intitled to change, change is the only thing we can count on to being a forsure thing in life. So from now on I guess i'm vowing to my self to never let his name reach the tip of my lips anymore. No matter how much something he says gets to me, i just need to shake it off, nod and smile, and move on. There's only 25 days or so of school left. And i don't want to leave this school the way i left Thurgood. Because the truth is, it isn't the words of my enemies i'll remember, it will be the silence of my friends. Or lack there of- now.. Anyways. But i don't know. I know i bag on the person he's been lately, because i guess it's completely different from the person i really cared about. It's just kind of sad when thing's tend to change like this. But once again, it's really amazing when two strangers can become the best of friends, but it's really sad when the best of friends become complete strangers. And maybe things like this need to happen in the world, to make us all grow as people? I really don't know, i can't answer any questions anymore these days, i really have no answers to anything anymore. Questions i do have for other people never seem to be answered. So i'm always left wondering. Despite of what i think about Rami now, i'll always know that there's always apart of him, that you just hate to love, but you love anyways. So journal, this is my vow. And now that i've finally written it out, i think i might send it to him, and give him permission to kick me in the shin anytime he hears me say his name. I'm just going to ignore the negativity from now on from EVERYONE, and try to keep peace. It's hard to be blunt and truthful with people and say how you feel, but i think i've learned that it's even harder holding your tongue and still trying to keep your head up when you feel the way you do. So i'm going to challenge my self and try that. To keep silent, learn, move on, and Grow up. Ness old embraces || and those || yet to come |
I loved on 05.01.03 at 5:10 pm |