Stupid Girl.
[ I'm crying and you can all go fuck a duck. ] I can't take this. Born to break this. She's going away((she's going away)) What's wrong with my life today? Stupid girl Stupid girl. I'm a loner, a loser, a 'winner' [in my mind] [I'm the sick one, with a smile] You know. I don't know what curse I have on me, but i know i have one. Why is it so hard for one person to committ to me, and just me. What have I ever done, to give someone a reason to want to leave me? I try too hard i suppose. Or is it i look in all the right places. Cold got it right. I'm a Stupid girl :) Thanks. I am- [my love] is not good enough. All i ever wanted, was someone to call my own. All i ever needed, was someone who acknowledged I have feelings too, i hurt easy, and the scars, and bruises don't fade. They stick with me. Maybe this is why i have a trusting issue. There's too much that can break my trust so easily. I've failed. I've failed at getting someone to see me as someone they'd want to be with forever. And i can't keep replaying all these episodes in my head, I can't keep going through every person that i've failed at being with for good. I lack something.[i lack everything] My heart is nothing it seems; my tears, they just fall freely to fill the hole. [ i drown in that hole.] Finally i've reached the point where reviving me is impossible. So let me [the feelings, pain, sores] go now. I don't think we want to be fixed anymore. I think [we] need a long break. My heart and I.Love just seems to be this impossible accomplishment we'll never reach. I can get A's in all of my classes if i wanted to, I could make someone feel special, and happy, I could do anything i set my mind to- but when it comes to love, i've completely failed off the charts. And i can't take this anymore. I can't take being in the shadow of what will never 'happen'. This makes me so unhappy. I don't know what i've done to deserve this. But thank you my wounds are going to heal some other day. old embraces || and those || yet to come |
I loved on 05.04.03 at 7:50 pm |