Interesting young woman.
Here is a girl i crossed while searching for other people in illinois- she caught my eye within the first paragraph. But what drew me in was the second and third. It's great to know that other people in this fucking world actually feel and not everyone acts like the world is all chipper and great- afraid of saying how they honestly feel. Well here is what i can relate to with this writer. I will not say her name, or post her journal because i feel that if she was worth getting to know to you people- then you would have already stumbled across her journal.. Anyways here:
"2003-01-07 - 1:45 a.m.
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I really don't know what to do. It's like I'm living a half life. I have no hope left. It's like I am this shell of a person. Nothing left that is worth anything to anybody. All my belief's lay crumbling at my feet. All my dream's died a long time ago. All my hope was destroyed by all the senseless cruelty that has become average in everyday life.
I think I've entered a dark tunnel where everything is a different shade of gray, and light is a ray of hope that cannot pentrate it's hardened core. Do you know what it's like to believe in someone so much, that they don't have to believe too, because you have faith enough for the both of you? Then you wakeup one day and realize that faith was misplaced. That all the belief you had in that person was worthless. It doesn't matter how much you believe in a person, they have to believe in themselves, or there will be nothing but failure." - Un-named
The sad part of this is that.. She thinks she's alone with those feelings- i've never spoken with her- but i can definantly say she is not alone. I think about that stuff everyday. The only reason i keep my self so busy is to keep my mind OFF of it. Because honestly only time can bring us what we need. I can't expect to have my whole life figured out in one day- it just doesn't happen.
Until next time-
sonic
old embraces
|| and those || yet to come
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