And so the mind explodes?
"And if you fool yourself,
You Will Make Him Happy"
-- Nirvana "Sappy"
Go fucking figure.
I'm just an "Easy Friend" with an ear to lend, while people think i don't have a fucking clue, i'm just here taking up space and time. What the fuck. Damn, i have feelings too. =
"You make me feel like i'm a whore, like i'm the one that's there to bore you now. It's ALWAYS gunna' be this way. Get the fuck away." Anyways. I'm on a Musak binge right now. "I'm sick of wasting time on what will never be, i cannot control you, into wanting me."
But yeah. This weekend has been pretty much 'okay'. No real important complaints i guess. I'm just confused, and i noticed how i get more confused as time goes by. I think i need to draw a line somewhere in my life, and make Friends,'Friends', and figure out whatever is left over, and see where i stand there. Because i'm not in the mood for games anymore, and in the brilliant words of Kurt Cobain,"If you fool yourself, you will make him happy."
For once i would just like to look out at my path and see one frickin' thing that is steady and meaningful. But OBVIOUSLY.. nothing in my life is ever steady. So i'm going to do my self a favore and stay alone until the men in this world understand the games they play. I don't know. Maybe i should just shut up, and watch things play out. But then again that's never my choice. Ha.
I think i'm just going to continue to focus on me, and from now on and not make the lines of Friendship, and "Friendly" Friendship, so easy to cross. Along with dating, and whatever other bullshit comes along with that.
I don't need confusion, and i don't like it when my mind analyzes the smallest things for days. So instead of giving my self any trouble, once again i'm going to shut up, and just post quotes of lyrics that mean something to me, and are rather symbolic to how i feel, or am being treated.
These are my thoughts, my opinions, and if people can't handle them, then please click the big [X] in the corner. I'm not bending for anyone, never did never will. What you see may not be what you get, because i don't ALWAYS put my self out there for people to depict. But.. To the ones i DO put my self out there for, I expect some kind of trust. And if there is no trust what is a friendship really?Hmm.
[I think I'm dumb
or maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy
my heart is broke
But I have some glue
help me inhale
And mend it with you
We'll float around
And hang out on clouds
Then we'll come down
And have a hangover...]
[But it's ok to eat fish
'Cause they haven't any feelings]
[I was yours and closer
you were the ape til you
got me here to entertain
your heads are in your lake]
[Yes I want to know...Yes I want to know...Because I've been
really trying to tell you...that...what I'm trying to say...is
what I'm trying to tell you...and what I'm trying to tell you is
that I don't know...because I don't know what I'm trying to say,
and what I'm trying to say is that I don't know what I'm trying
to tell you...and I don't know what I'm trying to tell you,
because I don't say what I'm trying to know...because I'm trying
to tell you, but I don't know what to say...because I'm trying
to tell you, because I don't know...what I'm trying to say...and
what I'm saying is that knowing is saying, and I'm trying to
tell you this...because telling is knowing...I'm telling you
what I'm saying...knowing...knowing and telling is saying,
because a saying is...a saying is knowing, and talking...and I
don't know, and I don't say, and I don't tell...and I don't...I
don't tell?]
Here's to Men:
[You go, you give, you get, you get to me
All the years of tyrants such an easy way to go
You go, you give, you get, you get to me
Time to struggle and the scaling of
Fingernails
Ummm, lies again (Once again?)
Ummm, mine (lies?)
Ummm, mmmm
You're lonely]
[I don't need to love again
I won't sigh and mope again
I don't need that again
I just don't think it's worth it ]
Yeah bye.
Sonic
old embraces
|| and those || yet to come
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