Just...Wow..I guess.
Aaron is....So...So.....GREAT! haha :> just beaut-i-ful. Our friendship, our past, our present... Our possible future maybe, perhaps, sorta. lol I dunno. I am HOPING when i start college and get a christmas break or spring break, i can go visit him.. We'll see B-) He's just... Yummified.
School was pretty good today. I've been really ILL. KurbIE made me go to the office and get an ED yesturday. He's very sweet:P He told me if i didn't go call home and have someone pick me up, that he would pick me up and carry me home, and that he could use the walk.(Though he has classes!) lol. But yeah, i was dizzy and shit, i didn't wanna' admit it because i went home early last wensday, was absent thursday, and we had no school friday, and I WAS STILL FRICKIN SICK! Today is the day i'm finally okay. A WEEK later. I'm still sick and shit, but now i'm on some strong medication, and i have to see my doctor again in two weeks.
Rawr.. There's times i really wish Aaron could be here. I dunno'.. I've always needed him around. I always e-mail him when we don't talk for a long while, and he crosses my mind.. Or i hear a familiar song that makes me think of him. He's just ALWAYS been there for me. As a friend... As more than a friend... Comforting me, listening to me, never complaining about a word i say.. Cheering me up.. What do i give him in return for such a gift? = I don't know. I don't know why he's the only one who's been there for me without any questions. We could be fighting and something could be wrong with me, and he'd still be right there. I swear.. If there's ever a time in his life where he's going to really need me by his side. I wanna' be there. I really do. I accept him for all that he is, and still allow room for him to grow and become an even greater person. He accepts me for my psycho self (haha :P ) and everything about me. He's been..Still is.. On a level with me no one has been on. He's seen thing's no one has... I've told him things i never told anyone.. Never would i find some bullshit letters talking shit behind my back. He's not that type. He has a life. Haha. But even if he didn't he wouldn't spend his time dissing me, and claiming me as someone he loves. He fully has my trust.. And no one on here has the trust he does from me. And he worked hard for it.. SO yeah. He took a lot of my shit, when i bagged on him for our past, when i was hurting. He took it all.. Sometimes it's really hard to do that. That shows he has a lot of heart, and endurance.. He's just proved so much to me over time that if we ever meet.. ha.. oh boy. Whether or not we ever get together IRL, i know he's a soulmate.. At this very moment he's my soulmate. And even if he finds someone down his line, i'll still always feel love for him. He's the only male i trust right now.. It feels so good to say i can honestly trust him. And i bet he's cheering and throwing a party. Because he has gone to hell and back to hear me say those words and whole-heartedly mean them. Wow... It's a big thing for me. Just wow... I guess. =) I...Love, <3, Heart, Loveith you Aaron. You know that lol.. I don't even know why i'm saying it, but you know that. :X
Chelle...YOU ARE NOT A DRAMA QUEEN. If anything, your the last person on this planet to talk shit about anyone. You and I both know that. That lindsay bitch is a fuckin' psycho. But as i seen the convo, i seen how relaxed and calm you were. Remember this: People who don't lie, don't have to "remember" what they said. They just know. Tell her, "7 up yours bitch, with a side of FUCK YOU!" =P heart ya' :X
"Don't let me let you go..."
Today's a reason for living....Today we carry eachother....Today's the time for forgiveness...
I can be.. anything.. That you want me to be.. A punching bag, a piece of string.. oh that reminds you not to think...I found your note down in my car.. And it's not your fault it gets this hard.. Gets this hard..Hold your head high.. Don't look down, i'm by your side... Won't back down.. You wanted a Hero tonight- well i'm not made of steel.. But your secrets safe with me.
I can be.. anything.. That you want me to be.. A holy cross, some sympathy.. that reminds you not to bleed. I found your note down in my car..And you climbed up here to fall apart.
You wanted a Hero tonight- well i'm not made of steel.. But your secrets SAFE with me.
Sorry.. This song screams Aaron.. He makes me feel this a lot... Blah. =) I feel great. I haven't felt so healthy, mind, and body wise in so long. Thank you :X
-NessaZ :>
old embraces
|| and those || yet to come
|