Emo?
Kur-e if you're reading this, see the before entry i dedicated to you.
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EMO isn't the word, Nor is it what i feel.. I'm numb to everything.
What is it you want with me? What is my purpose? The last time i checked i wasn't born to make people happy and fancy them- it was to make people feel something in general. But once the feelings are gone how can you get hurt? How is it possible i can even hurt someone who feels nothing for me? I can drown on my own, and i don't need help being dragged under- I wish you would kill me with your kindness- then just let me go- instead of playing with my weakness and watching me go down- I'm going down And this time i don't want to surface-
--CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE Struggling to breathe But i'm held down All i tried to do was love? The force of then men Keeping me back from ever making a sound But the noise is coming out They just can't hear it A sound you ignore But you know i feel it. A sound of Pain- A sound of Agony A sound of Angst To others the sound is silent But to you i'm yelling at the top of my lungs And yet you still chose to ignore it Thank you for trying to save me Thank you for all you've done You just know I love it to end this way Blood is too messy- Screaming won't help- So why not just choke me
So i can die in silence
And you can pretend i died in peace.
-- I bathe in the fire Assuming i don't get burned But i fee the scorching pain from within I'm not burning outside in But i am dieing inside out- And right now nothing really matters to me anymore- My tears can no longer put the fire out And my smile can no longer hold When my doubt and sadness overtake it- If it was some way to push me away It's working. If the idea was to make me drown I never needed your help. Now let me be- Allow me to fade away It was never me you needed- I'm sorry for being the only one to feel this way I'm sure you have everything you want now It was never my intentions to MAKE you stay. Guess' i was dumb and thought you might want to.
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Well this is all what i wrote on the way to school, and in division. I don't know what i'm feeling right now, i do know it's anything but good. Anything but happy- and i hate it. i hate it. goodbye. VMS
old embraces
|| and those || yet to come
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