Kari-
Kur-e- I want you to know that I know exactly what you're feeling. It's a feeling i carry with me everyday practically. Sometimes i think i can rid of it if i get out more or have more fun- truth is i only realize that i am that much more alone. Whether im in my bedroom, or out at the movies- i see it- i see couples having the time of their life- some ready to get ingaged- and i know i'm no where close to any of that. I'm standing right here and no one is reaching out to grab me. It's as if every guy i ever really liked circled around me and kept walking- teasing me- making sure that i can't have what i want. That i can only have a little and i would have to deal with that. I'm tired of a little. Tired of never getting someones full unconditional love. Tired of watching everyguy go by and making me feel not good enough as they find someone else to make them 'happy'. The last time i knew- i wasn't born just to only make people smile and happy- but to make them feel- to help them learn something new- and allow me to learn from them- when i was 14-15 i thought.. Okay being lonely is 'okay' i'm still a kid.. Now i'm 18- and i'm STILL lonely. I know a relationship is what I want- but a true one. I know that i'm not trying to fill a hole- because it's really love i'm looking for. I want someone to call my own- someone i don't have to share with the rest of the female population. Someone that can help me see i do exist and stand out- because right now i feel like i'm in some shadow behind 93849438489438 girls, and i'm never going to get out. Feeling this way is OKAY- but trust me when i say this Kur-e. There is ABSOLUTLY nothing at all wrong with you- you're like every guys dream or something. But the men of these days are too fucking retarded to see it. I'm learning that it seems like all they want these days is what makes them feel good- as if they just want to be selfish and find people that won't hurt them- someone that won't make them feel- probably just someone that fills their hormones and someone they can play emotional games with. Well i'm starting to think thats why they avoid us Kur-e = we can cause some damnage. And make the jackasses actually feel something. = I love you Kari, and i'm not afraid to say that to you because i know you are someone that won't use someone or make them feel like hoss. If you need someone to mope with and whine about everyday problems with guys- i'm here :X i must warn you though- i might do a little whining too :"> - old embraces || and those || yet to come |
I loved on 03.17.03 at 3:10 pm |